Yeah, so I guess it's time to grow up. I mean I can play a grown up on some days... but my reactions fueled by fear and not feeling like I'm good enough are just dumb and old. I had the occasion to have a chat where I was definitely able to listen and not flip over into "I'm not doing it right..." by virtue of saying I was afraid I wasn't doing it right. Go figure.

Let it go... it's not life or death.

Pema Chodron had this to share :

take a look if you wanna go deep...


For me tonight...
Good to focus on being gentle with myself. I made some calls today that pushed my limits of patience, and had my fear up in my face. Things I have been putting off.. and they have become these oozing juggernauts of failed responsibility. So, in an effort to avert the sad... and not lapse into something less then possibility-filled, I'm doing some house cleaning.  I might even have an amends or two to make as I still have a be or so in my bonnet. And some more letting go. As I look to the time when I am getting to the end of being on the road here for 2009, I gotta figure out how to best fill the time that will not be spent driving.  I know there is some tennis coming as well as some video. And always booking... but what else?

I think it's time to look out at the world and say," What's next in these next few months?" Of course all that can fly out the window in a second if my mom needs me... no questions asked. And we will know yet more on that Monday. 

And... let's not forget... I still have Winterbloom to go. And I can't wait for that! And then...

cricket... cricket...