Baked Pueblo.

Heading to The Baked Pueblo again to try and make more progress in the cleaning out of The Mother Unit's house to get it ready for sale.

This is way more emotional than I had ever bargained for and has me moving much slower than I would have hoped. I'll get it done, but I am a month behind schedule.

It's a beautiful morning, so one moment at a time oughta serve me well. Go do what you can is my motto.

And stay away from all St Patty's Day anything.



That northern area called Phoenix is a chore.

Maneuvering around its streets and freeways is not my idea of a good time, but I managed to do most of that during non rush hour times. Judging by the response to my pitches at all of the Whole Foods stores, I believe we will have all of them ordering coffee in the next couple of weeks.

Patting myself on the back and being grateful as hell for the chance to go out and futher this coffee revolution. There is coffee on those shelves that is nowhere near as good as ours for double the price. We may not be the best at marketing, but we got the flavor and the love.

Getting to see k.d. lang on Thursday didn’t suck either.
Holy shit that show was fantastic! Highly recommend seeing the Ingenue Redux Tour! Then sprinkle in some visits with friends up there and you have a very heartwarming experience in a city I can easily do without. I’m tired and have too much to do today but I’ll plod thru and hopefully make it home for The Return of the Turkey Vulture Parade and the Tales From The Trash at Central School.

No rest for the wicked.



Sometimes you just need a good bit of something on a grill.

I did that up for The Mother Unit on Saturday. Ribeye, baked potato, sweet peas and some laughter. It was sparked by some of her lab results indicating some red meat might be a good thing for her.  There is a reason I left the bbq grill at her house... and this is it.

The weather was beautiful, there was progress made at her house getting things out, and my brain is not too taxed but I am once again behind on my own chores at home, but that just means double duty today and tomorrow. I can deal with that. This is all temporary. I guess everything is temporary in the grand scheme of things.

We Cancerians don't naturally let go of ideas or things. It's a process.. to put it gently.

I think this week is gonna fly by. Too much on deck. But at least I am not bored or floundering. I'll take it.



It was super cold, and downright crappy weather driving in this morning. Certainly not used to that these days. I have become a fair weather driver. My funny little Scion does ok, but it’s times like this I kinda long for a higher profile vehicle.

I’ll be honest..
I have been dreaming of getting my little canned ham trailer from my pal who has been keeping it safe and converting it into a little coffee and donut cart. Would need a beefier truck to pull it.. Just a little thing to make some extra money and try to do something fun. I have no real interests/hobbies other than pinball and music. I am gonna need something to focus some creative energy on.. my creative joo joo is not extensive, but at some point I gotta either get the trailer back or give her the title and say thanks for taking care of it.

Purging stuff and being aware of the amount of unfulfilled dreams and ideas attached to things is a weird process. It is a real journey. No sounding board, and somewhat rudderless, I am doing all I can as I continue to clean out my mom’s house and get things gone. This is kinda hard. Some fun would be nice.



I am going into the Folk Alliance Conference with no cell phone.

So far life has been pretty damn fine without the damn thing and I may just have to make more of a habit of forgetting my phone. Of course I felt like a dumbass and panicked initially, but I can do my job just fine one way or another.

I am not in demand, I know where I need to be, and I have coffee.

I'll be fine.

I hope.



Choosing to watch vhs movies while going through stuff tonight. First was Repo Man.. now Heathers. Sets a mood, that’s for sure.

There is more stuff here that needs true going through and care than I had any idea about. The pictures of four generations are overwhelming. I do feel an obligation to be respectful. And so I am being just that. I’ll take them all to Bisbee and store them.

A good size truckload of stuff will be going to a thrift shop, and a load of stuff will come home with me. Yhis has to get done. There is a little bit of order peeking through the chaos here and the yard sale/estate sale will get a bunch of the chaos cleared out.  None of this is easy.

Stay the course. Do what you can. That’s my motto.


The loss of a friend.

Posting here has always been cathartic.

Sometimes funny.
Sometimes sad.
Always honest.

Today as I went to call my pal Glo to wish her happy birthday I was greeted with the message that her phone has been disconnected. This means that she is jetting around the universe and beyond, having a blast and no longer burdened by this planet and it's screwiness. I have lost someone who has known me my entire life.

And nobody told me she was gone...

She said her family would have a list of folks to notify in the event of her passing and that I was on it. I didn't want to get that call, but it's inevitable.

But shit... to call and be ready to wish her happy birthday and get a disconnect message was a definite call my ass into the present moment. We spoke every couple of months... and laughed really hard through most of those conversations. I'll miss her being one of my biggest cheerleaders.

With The Mother Unit in the hospital with a fair bit of pneumonia, now is not the time to break this news to her. They were coworkers at KTLA a gazillion years ago.  And her eyesight is so bad, I don't think she checks this blog anymore.  It's safe to say I got the feels around my family stuff. Glo was family in my world.

I'm gonna hold onto her laugh in my heart. I can hear it loud and clear.


A brief summary.

In the waning months of 2017 and into 2018 I was best-friendless.

I have grown apart from my bestie.. or rather, she has grown apart from me. The distance has hurt me deeply, but not as big a trauma as it would have been if I were younger. Still a heartbreaker, but there are lessons to be learned.

I have to get my arse in gear and get The Mother Unit's house sold.

There are good people in this world. Bisbee is still drawing some wonderful human beings into its sphere.

My love and appreciation for my mom are one of the things that are keeping me moving forward.

I have sadness and gratitude residing in my body most days.

2018 is going to be a challenge. I hope to meet that challenge with grace.


From the 84th to the end of the year.

It's been a good week.

The Mother Unit turned 84 on Thursday, and that day was pretty awesome. The shortened work week went well, and the weekend was not what I had expected in that I ended up cooking kapama on Saturday to take over to a friend's to celebrate her birthday. I had also decided to try my hand at brioche! So my time was filled with bready experiments and crafting one of my all-time favorite dishes.

Kinda worked out perfectly as I decided that going out into the crazy night for NYE held absolutely no appeal for me this year. I had leftover kapama as the last meal of 2017... it was delicious! And I am currently watching Sigur Ros recorded at the Walt Disney Concert Hall with the L.A. Philharmonic. And that is fantastic in its own right, but couple that with the fact that yesterday I watched the livestream of Sigur Ros' last show of the year from Iceland and you essentially have a weekend of incredible music and visuals paired with food and friends. While watching listening yesterday, I wept.. in between the brioche, and the final hour of kapama making was this dynamic bunch of music that really hits me. Every time.

Feeling pretty fortunate tonight. My tiny bubble of a Shangri-La that I live in has taken good care me the last few days. I'll just say I'm hopeful and willing to be open to what's next. 

And I'm grateful for Sigur Ros...

yes... the almost 2-hour concert from Walt Disney Concert Hall.

Happy New Year indeed.


In good style.

This is what turning 84 looks like.

The Mother Unit and I ventured to Frank's Restaurant in Tucson for a birthday breakfast with the most legendary waitress in The Baked Pueblo. The One, The Only, Candace! It was super sweet from start to finish, and I am pretty sure the singing of "Happy Birthday" was a high point of the day. It was for me anyhow..

I especially liked the Mickey Mouse pancake with the candle... nice touch, Candace!

The day was full of running all over the place provisioning for Roka and grabbing a few pounds of thai basil for the noodle shop and episodes of Walking Dead and Talking Dead, and feeding my mom our special dish of kapama made by me and enjoyed thoroughly. She ate more on her birthday than she has in a while is my guess. And let's face it... that is a really good thing. She's not usually that hungry and she can't really afford to lose a bunch of weight.

It's back to work and back to reality for me. I have too much to do with my house and my mom's house. I doubt I will get up to Tucson this weekend to sort things, but the good news is that I can try to get a few projects here done and then next weekend is all Tucson. Grateful to have taken the day off yesterday to be with The Mother Unit on the occasion of her 84th. So happy she is content and safe at the care home. Everything else is secondary.


Sunday at The Boatslip 1992.

It starts like this...
“We’d like to remind you to keep both feet on the dance floor at all times...”

I found this cassette tape when going thru things this weekend. Of course I popped the tape in and was immediately smiling with that warning! The Boatslip is still home to the famous Tea Dance every Sunday in season.  The music is beat-mixed to perfection and while the 90’s were not my favorite I still love this tape as one of the silly musical benchmarks in my life. I was still going to clubs and dancing the night away, had a girlfriend, and still owned two Technics 1200 turntables which were the holy grail of turntables for DJ’s. Life would have appeared to be really good at that time for me. It was a couple lifetimes ago really.

My life has always been music-centered. And there has always been change in taste and genre but I can usually appreciate the music I loved from way back. And I am not just talking about Led Zeppelin. Ok, the one caveat to that is my early recovery days when I had a a lesbian therapist and she had me listening to sappy feminist recovery music. I actually can’t do that kind of music at all..

There is always time for music. I just wish the cassette player at my mom’s had auto play insted of me having to stop what I’m doing to flip the thing. But if that is the biggest bee in my bonnet then it’s a good day.


The coolest kid I know.

I have a pal here in Bisbee who is truly cooler than anyone I have ever known. It's effortless and I would call her enigmatic. She has the world at her feet and she probably doesn't even know it.

And she's 18.

She gives me hope for the future.

I am teaching her how to drive a stick shift. As I have assured her that it's beyond cool to be able to drive vintage cars like VW's and maybe a Porsche to name my own personal favorites. We are two lessons in, and I think that she is gonna have it down within the next 2 lessons. I also need to get her out on the road and just talk to her about driving etiquette and safety.

Her dad gets really anxious about her driving so he was happy to hear I was willing. Plus, I have an extra Acura or I can help her score a deal on a VW station wagon and both are a stick shift. So it's necessity and real possibility merging into the moment.

She is also the drummer/vocalist for The Exbats who are by far the best band in Bisbee. So I feel like I get to give back to them by helping her get confident in her driving skills. I will pile her in the truck (automatic) to and have her just drive without needing to worry about shifting to log some good time behind the wheel. I honed my patience while driving being a tour manager and driving precious cargo (musicians) through the absolute worst traffic in all of the traffucked cities across the US.

Also, it's crucial to mention that The Mother Unit spent years teaching people driving and I feel like her calm demeanor and support definitely made me a better driver and that in a way this is part of paying forward all she did to help others drive better and all she has done for me.

And so far, my friend has not burnt out my starter or clutch and she has not left the transmission in the middle of the road. I doubt that I am the best instructor but I do know that being supportive is a damn good thing.


It's all so complicated.

Busy day up in The Baked Pueblo yesterday but totally productive.

There are days where it's laid back and easy, and then there are days like yesterday... with calculated strikes and close watching of time to make sure I get everything done and get where I need to be without on schedule. The days are always so much better when The Mother Unit is feeling good like yesterday.

After my successful run up there I hurried back to see The Exbats at what I will call my least favorite venue in Bisbee. It's my least fave because they seem to always have sound problems. It never gets dialed in.

And true to form... the fucked up The Exbats last night and I walked out. So. Disappointing.

There are times I think I should place shows there and then the whole sound thing rears its ugly head and I know in my heart that I cannot subject the artists or the audience to that kind of torture. 

Never again... not for live music anyways.

This morning I woke up late and decided to give myself some space to meander around the house and slowly get out the door. I even gave myself a game of pinball which started out as a garbage game with a score of 700,00 at 4 balls in. My average score is 2,500,00-3,500,00 most good days. I was not going to give up. I powered through, getting an extra ball then getting multi-ball and eventually another extra ball and another multi to finish with a score of 4,788,000. But literally, during that game, I stopped to drink an entire cup of coffee, thought about how much I loved my mom, cried a little, and then circled back to disappointment about The Exbats show last night. 

Judas Priest!

Crazy rollercoaster!

And Thursdays is generally a day I go back to work and play clean-up for all the stuff they didn't do. So I am gonna guess the crazy rollercoaster will continue. It's a virtual Matterhorn over here in Tiny Town.