Aha moment.

There I was.. Realizing not processing all this fast enough is making me a boring friend. And then I stumble on this quote from an article talking about people working in a stressfull environment:

"Cause they're not mean people, they're not spiteful people, they're not trying to trip you up, They're just very intense and, you know, things emanate from them, right?

"it's a lot like working in a nuclear power plant, but you don't get one of those protective suits. It's a lot of radiation and you either learn to survive it or you die."
This is a really apt simile, because you can't actually learn to survive radiation exposure. The amount it takes to kill you varies by person, but eventually you have to either leave, or die.

i am gonna work hard to diges this and see if it doesn't help me move through my boring dumb process a little faster abd with some grace. 


I saw a horoscope this morning that said something about not making any big decision about something that has been weighing on my mind.  There is that whole work thing... and that would be the biggest worry.

Ok. No big decision today. I love to take into consideration all factors when I can.

More will be revealed...


Yeah... it really happened.

This is the G-Rated photo of Maria and I at the closing.

We got through the closing fairly quickly.. more crap went down prior to my leaving Bisbee, but I played uber hardball and really let go of the outcome. I knew I was doing the right thing. And I knew I was taking care of my pal KK.

It's over and done.

Maria and I then went out to lunch and laughed like the old days. We realized we have known each other maybe 20 plus years and there was just a good sense of love and respect. Many gifts today. So glad this is done. I wonder what the void that this leaves will get filled by?


You think you got it made?

I'll tell you what... there will be some semblance of 'having it made' if tomorrow happens as the late day developments have it heading.

No, not more touring. (I wish there was more coming in..) but there will be eventually.

The late day development is this: I get to go close KK's house deal tomorrow.

So they say..

Yes, I have to drive back to Tucson.
Yes it's a pain in the ass.
But it's no more painful than every fucking moment of this deal. In fact, a turn and burn to Tucson will be a pleasure  so this can finally be done forever and ever. I am a week later in getting KK her money than I promised, but it's gonna feel really good to sign those docs and then go to lunch with my dear friend Maria Arellano who was the escrow officer for this never-ending deal. She was also my escrow officer for 13 years when I was in real estate. She has maintained a fabulous professional attitude while I have lost my fucking mind all over this deal. A true pro she is. Me? Not so much...

Clearing out.

I have spent the last few days deleting emails and files. Cleaning off the tired old computer to make room. It's been cathartic.

Just like when I deleted a couple hundred pics off my phone. A clearing, as it were. Making space hypothetically for something new. I gotta say, I am hoping at some point I can find some artists who will use me often enough that I can not have to worry about a part time job. I am a good option, and though my last tour endeavor was not a good fit, I know I am a worthy choice for someone who wants a hardworking, smart, good human being to help on some gigs.

Time to contact Nashville and see what that production company might have. And it's gonna take meeting potential employers and getting a feel for them and asking questions. I will not walk into any situations somewhat blindly anymore. I have learned some good lessons. Life is too short.



"A change of direction of some kind will be forced on you over the next few weeks and if you are smart you won't try to fight it. You can sense that better times lie just ahead, but first you will need to give up your old ways."

Thanks New York Post... I think.


Ok clouds.. You win. I see the beauty in the moment.

What if?

Oh man...

I am just getting more and more disillusioned. Is it wanderlust? Is it mid-life crisis? If it is a mid-life thing... where the fuck is my Porsche?  As word trickles down that I am basically not gonna get many hours (if any) at the co-op, and touring seems far away, I am so aware that I need a freakin' hobby.

I gotta figure this shit out fast. I cannot sit back and not make any money. I need to stay afloat. It's good for the brain and the wallet.

A little freakout fueled also by The Mother Unit having a procedure in the hospital this morning. Every little thing feels kinda big, and trying to keep a lid on it is not easy. On top of all of that, I think my being so exasperated about KK's house dealio being such a drama is evidence I should prolly drag my ass to a meeting and get some experience strength and hope.  Keep it simple...


When will it be done??

Ugh... the real estate deal that wouldn't close is still a constant bee in the bonnet. I want the deal closed, KK's money in her account, the buyers happy... I am so ready for it to be done. I swear, it's one for the record books. The state of the lending industry these days is the final hold up. And those fuckers do not work for the buyer. They work for themselves.. no really douchtards, take all the time you need.


The good side to this is that had I not been the power of atty.  KK prolly would have torched the place by now and said ,"Meh... whatever!" She would not have put up with all this chaos up close and personal.

So with more delay on deck with that, I hopefully head to get my car worked on so that the intermittent 'not gonna turn over/start' issue gets fixed for real this time and readdressing the leak in the passenger footwell at the same time. Not feeling too perky about this day ahead right now.

Time to call in the big guns.

I am gonna have to listen to City and Horses, Jonsi, Chromeo, and some Amanda Fucking Palmer all in a carefully curated playlist to boost me into my happy place.

Deep breaths... go.


Downpour part two!

Just got back from a nice walk into town, made a giant salad... and then the skies opened up!

Really coming down. I just vacuumed out a bunch of water from inside my car.. (damn leak...) and will obviously need to attend to that again when this lets up. Temp has dropped 10 degrees and is still dropping as I type. I can feel it.

There were several things going on out of doors in Tiny Town today.. and this shall we say, puts a real damper on it? But it's always a beautiful thing in Bisbee when it rains. We need it.

How else would we be able to keep the town so buggy if not for all this rain?


Window to the world.

Clouds and sun..
Homemade chicken soup.
What's wrong with that?


The rain has stopped? I think?

Well, yes... that was a fair amount of rain.

It filled up the ditch/river behind the house and now that has settled into a less disconcerting roar of flowing water.  I do have gratitude for all of the dumb incidents that happened years ago that caused the wall behind my house to be rebuilt and my house shored up the right way.

Plotting the real possibility of trying to paint the kitchen because I have way too much time with nothing to do.

I just deleted a few hundred photos off of my phone from 'recent touring' so that I would have room for new and exciting things like.... paint colors? Hell, I dunno. But it felt good to delete a bunch of stuff that I had no use for anymore. Cathartic in fact.

It's cleared up enough to think about a walk into town.. that sounds perfect.

Oh... Deal.

Hurricane/Tropical Storm Odile gave us rain all night, and the Mule Gulch Ditch is running fierce.

And while I thought it was gonna let up, the fact is it just started raining harder a few minutes after I sent an email to the boss about maybe it's really gonna let up and the farmer's market might not be cancelled.  It'll be weird to go back to work initially (whenever that happens..) but I am glad to have any job still there at the co-op.

Got a little hang time with the great and wonderful Gretchen Baer and then a pop in from her guy Shawnee... tacos, tea, and laughter were on the agenda. Finally settling back in over here. House is cleaner, laundry is done, some semblance of order restored. Now it's just time to get back to it. Whatever that means.

And apparently it means not working today as I just got a text from the boss. I got time on my hands... I should paint my kitchen.