Back in Tiny Town.



Oh My.

It was hot yesterday when I was driving around. Maybe that is due to my a/c in the car possibly giving out, maybe I am just a big baby could be a little of both.

Good portion of errands run, and some last minute things to handle today over at KK's house.

Yes. Still. Not. Closed. Escrow. Fuck.

Then it's probably back to Tiny Town as I feel like I need to get back into action. I dunno what that really means, but sitting around in Tucson while my dirty little house 97 miles away beckons to me seems wrong. I have a little paranoia about scorpions making my house their own, so I need to schedule something to get that fear alleviated. Somewhere in there is whisperings of being scheduled at the co-op.

Real life indeed.


Feeling enlightened.

Early morning goodbye.

At what amounted to 1:45 am AZ time, I was up and moving towards making coffee and spending some last sweet moments with Marvin. I stripped the bed, put fresh sheets on, and hauled all the laundry downstairs. The cat was particularly frisky.. which made me smile. My love for him goes against my every-ounce-a-dog-lover self. But it was indeed time to go.

I have some balance in my head and heart. And a crap ton of unknown as usual for the future. I wouldn't trade my unpredictable, underpaid, off-kilter way of moving through life for anything. Traditional 9-5 is obviously not my bag. And there is now plenty of wondering what-the-hell-is-next in my future. With my current employment in AZ looking a little shaky, I am once again left to think of other ways I might be able to support myself. 

Here is what I am gonna tell myself,"Face the fear of economic insecurity with love in your heart and a willingness to help others and perhaps it might not totally suck, Wendy."

That is some hope right there.


The Lighthouse! The Lighthouse!

This will be where my pal Kelly spends her wedding night.. That building behind us. And me.. on the murphy bed downstairs. They wanna keep the coffee bitch close.

He's trying to be all casual on my last night..

This is what I walked away with..

Well, I am done with my time on the east coast. I started out on a big tour, that didn't work out, I stayed with good friends and a toothless cat to get my head in a decent space, and what did I get for all this?

This 27 year chip.. that's what I got.  Down in in Florida, I managed to get my arse to a meeting and get this.

No, this run didn't turn out like I thought it would. But what in life ever does?  I'm happy to have made it this far and still have love in my heart and a smile on my face.


Rainy Days and Mondays.

One sweeeeet (in a Debbie Downer kinda way) Carpenter's song.

Well, it's raining and it's Monday.

Perfect time to slam a bunch of coffee and give myself some props for hanging fairly tough.  as I get ready to head back this week to Tiny Town and the slow paced day to day, it's been a good in between time to just get clear in my head about how the last few weeks went.

I really did bust my ass. I am happy with my efforts. Sometimes you gel with folks, sometimes you don't.. and sometimes you gel and it unravels later. I have had all of these situations happen over the years and it's always a great learning opportunity. The key is to not let it stop me from moving forward. Everybody has their story of what happened, and my hope is that mine is rooted in taking responsibility for my part and not letting stuff get me down. 

I have a toothless cat to hang out with.

Bring on the rain.


I do believe.

My cat has come in from a night outside.

He has been in bit of a fight as evidenced by a crusty bloody spot on his ear and, he was even snugglier than usual and waaaaay more talkative. I think he wanted some comforting.

And some food.

Sounds pretty good to me. Someone to just give you a big squeeze and hold ya tight and tell ya it's gonna be alright... and then feed you. Or in Marvin's case, lift him up to his feeding place on top of the wine fridge. My pals here are doing a good job of reassuring me it's gonna be alright. And I have been doing most of the cooking, so food is everywhere.

Me and Marvin?

Like peas and carrots.



I am relieved.

The Mother Unit is home.

It is hard to be over here trying to keep on the good positive path with processing the last few weeks in my head all the while worrying about The Mother Unit or what job is (or is not) waiting for me back in AZ. Both have been weighing heavy on my mind till I got word she was home and happy... now I just have to be concerned about the job.

Being the black or white thinker that I tend to be, I have much trepidation about my return to the wee co-op and not having the same tasks and responsibilities. And then there is the simple fact that I have been gone a while and have lost any pull when it comes to actually getting enough hours.  The time to have some belief in my abilities to deal with this all gracefully is upon me..


Piratty good times with my
pal Roz.


For all the right reasons, and not horrible ones, The Mother Unit is still in the hospital.. She should get out today. She's just not gonna get to go thru life without these transfusions. I doubt that there is a way to get this type of situation to be any different than it is as I suspect she just kinda has up and down days and she doesn't sleep well and her body hurts so it's hard to tell the difference between tired and  low blood crisis..

She is in good spirits.. that helps me from way over here.

And it makes all the things in my brain seem trivial.

I'll be home in a week. And nothing is critical.



And then the call from The Mother Unit..

"I'm in the hospital..."

I had few words. Just worry. I knew I would most likely be unable to afford going back early as I intentionally booked my flight home on the cheapest travel day of the year... Sept. 11th.

I was right. Getting back immediately was not going to be anywhere near economically feasible. But while I wait for more info besides the fact that she is getting yet another blood transfusion ) and no, she didn't have another heart attack) they will be running more tests and I will sit here a few thousand miles away and worry some more. When you are a family of two, it's just what you do.

The airlines reassured me that I could always pony up for the "slightly more expensive refundable fare" in the future.. but they are usually almost double. 

Yeah... that'll happen.

So, here I sit hoping she is ok. Knowing she is in a safe place but anxious I am not there to help. Pretty powerless. But I am filled with love and compassion and it's all directed at her.