5.04.2016

The Wild West.

Tiny Town... 2:18am.

Mother-fucking-javelina-cloven-hooves on the porch.

Seriously.

Going after the trash can. Must be time for me to build a gate to keep them off the porch. It's also a little early to have them dead center of town scavenging it seems. Usually I hear them in the middle of summer. Ok then.
It's a wild world out there.

I spent yesterday helping a friend move furniture. Unexpected, and quite a fun and physical day. She slipped me a couple dollars too.. Goodness.

Perfect weather, beautiful sunlight, good energy, and forward motion.. I sent off an email today to try and get a contract job for not too much money, but it's local. I am reading the CDL drivers license manual too... I'll try to get that knowledge in my brain before the end of May. If I can get something like that under my belt, I'd feel like a fun new bunch of work might be available.

Hopeful for sure. I am still thinking about my little food trailer idea.. and today where we were moving furniture there was a sandwich making foodservice fridge. Maybe for sale.

Coincidence?

Perhaps.


4.28.2016

The Cortadito

Who made cortaditos today? Yup.. I did. 

Sugary cuban coffee deliciousness! I pulled down my espresso maker, bought actual milk, and went to town grinding coffee and beating sugar into golden submission.

All of this triggered by an email from a pal who asked what I knew of this coffee confection. We emailed for 2 days.. And then she sent me the song that she wrote about this Cuban delight.  She's a fucking brilliant songwriter... And what a joy to be able to contribute to someone I love and admire greatly. 

But even more than that.. making these again after a couple years of not doing them or having them was a treat I could give myself. 

Something nice for me for a change. 

I was veeeeery jacked up on caffeine today. Many dumb little things got done around here. 

Even got to hang with Gretchen, who is fresh off the Hillary Clinton Campain Trail. The big suprise with my time with her was that she wanted a goddamn cortadito too!!! Hells yes!!!! 

A good day. 

In my soon to be state of joblessness, my goal is to drink a bunch of really good coffee.. Tomorrow night when I get home from my last day of work, I am gonna plot my caffeinated journey one cortadito at a time. 

All inspired by someone who knows my love of coffee.. 

Who reached out..

And spawned coffee excellence on this day. 


And a big mess.

4.27.2016

One more.

Just one more day at the co-op.

It's gonna be weird to not work there, and I'm sad it didn't work out for me there.  They will do better without the loud, opinionated dyke telling them to work faster/harder/smarter. I just don't fit in there anymore . I'm glad I can admit that and move gracefully away from it.

The void that will be there where work was will get filled with more work of some sort. As long as I can get a few hundred a month rolling in, I can prolly stay afloat. Just nothing extra.

Summer is not the time to plan shows in Bisbee. And music work is far from my mind right now anyhow. Sadly.

Once I get past the insurance claim for The Mother Unit's LTC and I know she gets to stay where she is.. I can let my shoulders drop, take a deep breath and focus on myself. If it goes south... and not in her favor, then I will step up and do whatever is next for her.

In the meantime I will try and tackle some house projects.. like getting the cooler ready for summer, fixing the front porch to the best of my ability, and spraying for bugs to try and fend of the annual invasion of all kinds of creepy crawlies. I have been hearing about a lot of scorpions already this season... so spraying this year feels like a must. Not a fan of bugs.. at all. And then there is the fact that I just need to purge stuff from my house and The Mother Unit's house. A tedious emotional project in itself.  Ugh.


4.22.2016

Dethroned

The number two high score on my High Speed pinball machine finally belongs to me.. Now I gotta wipe the former number two ( now number three) off the board by getting the new highest third and fourth scores. 

It's the little things. 

Keeping it super simple. 

Some days..

Change.

It's all I can count on happening right now.

There is no telling how things are gonna work out with the long term care insurance. I still have to get a spreadsheet separating the charges for care at Starfish. All I know is that The Mother Unit really likes the safety of being there.  I am prepared to do battle to keep her safe and happy.

I'm helping a pal from the Bisbee Women's Club tomorrow. Trying to get out of my head and do some good in the world by doing for others. That's the next right thing for me to do.

Keeping it simple..


4.20.2016

Dialysis.

The Mother Unit is a champ... she is getting her first dialysis and has now scored some primo headphones from me for her tv viewing while this lengthy process takes place. Send her some big well wishes. She is dealing with all of these changes as best she can. I am a mess, but she is an inspiration today.  She is a tenacious one. Maybe that is where I got some of that tenacity from?

She wasn't agonized, but earlier she (and I) were both nervous. I had a totally shitty morning at work, so getting up here to be able to try to support her was good to get me out of my head. 

My own terror around what is next for me job-wise has definitely tainted my ability to just chill.. But there is no turning back. Too many dumb/ boneheaded things going on at the soon to be former workplace. I can't fix it. I don't fit. I have to go. I made the right choice. 

Gah...

4.18.2016

Early mornings in Tucson.

Well... it may be Tucson, but at least the coffee is good. Because I always bring my own.

Things to handle up here and I am anxious to see The Mother Unit and see how she is doing. My fingers are crossed that she is holding steady.  I know the care home is losing her clothes when they do her laundry... that's the big story so far.

I have been scanning my pal Gretchen's twitter... seeing Carole King by the Hill Car made me happy... as did seeing GB with her man, Shawnee and her pal Maria in the car on their way to inspire folks. That kind of action is about as grassroots as you can get. I have so much respect for Gretchen. Truly a one in a gazillion human being.

Still just doing every next right thing.. one cankle in front of the other... one day t a time.

4.17.2016

E.V.D.P.

The perviously planned party for a Eighties Vinyl Dance Party happened last night. Those of us in attendance needed to move and hear fun loud-ish music. A party for mostly locals but we had a few cool Roka customers join in too. 

This bad photo is the only shot I took..

There were some supremely sweet moments..
Like looking out at the dance floor at about 11pm (2hrs into the event) and having everyone movig/dancing/smiling. Having my bestie by my side as bartender.. and my pal Richard down from Phx, made it even better. 

I have not DJ'd in so long. 
I needed that. It's so good for me to do (not so) simple things like this for myself at a time when it's just bedlam in my world. Some of that bedlam is just Mother Unit changes and the rest is admittedly caused by my own hand. 

Now it's coffee on the porch while I wait for Richard to wakey wakey. 

His chair awaits. 

4.15.2016

Still sleepless..

My brain is heavy with change.

All of this change is going to be an opportunity to do all of the next right things needed. Balancing out what needs to happen will be interesting. I may end up scraping some paint for a friend of mine if his offer still stands. I have never really minded paint related work.. so if he can give me a little work here or there I will stay afloat at least. I feel a declutter week coming on for my friend Robin too.. time to hunker down and get creative in my finance. Yes... I am terrified.

I am looking to be up in The Baked Pueblo to help shuttle The Mother Unit to the new development... dialysis. It will give me time to make sure she is taken to and from efficiently, and I know I can get her wheelchair in my car.

So much changing.

I have lots to do at her house.. so, while she is doing her treatment I can be cleaning, packing, purging things. So much to do.. just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other.

4.14.2016

What does $50.00 buy you?

I'll tell ya what $50.00 buys you at T-Mobile..

450 pay-as-you-go minutes. 

The Mother Unit was feeling anxious about having her own phone access so I actually drove up to try to get her switched over to Verizon. 

They guy I have been dealing with on getting her an unltd talk plan was off yesterday. I wish I would have known that before I drove up planning to get this handled. Shit. So, it will have to wait till Monday. In the meantime, her trusty little T-Mobile phone got fed all those minutes instead. I don't think she'll use all the minutes, but they don't expire for a year so.

I gave 2 weeks notice at my job... and I had a sleepless night wondering if I should have just been sucking it up and trying to care less about how the culture is at the tiny workplace. And the boss didn't seem too surprised. And I think perhaps it will be easier for the new grocery mgr to have her own systems implemented as she feels out the totality what is involved in bringing it to the next level. I just didn't know how to stay. 

I felt compelled to gracefully move away and let go. I don't really feel like I fit there anymore.  And now I have given myself some challenges on so many levels. Ugh... 

Lots on my plate. 

At least The Mother Unit is being very well taken care of. I am so happy that she likes it there. My own shift in how I need to be around that is a seemingly deep process. She doesn't need me for much at all besides bringing things from the house and then for bill pay a couple times a month.  I need to get used to that.  More letting go and adjusting. 

I'm tired.. 
Time to go home. 








4.12.2016

Move forward.

So much to say.. So much to do. 


That is the shot of the Sherriff who pulled me over for soeeding in St David.  I alwyas take a oic to be able to document. Gah.. Just what I needed.  Time for powerful manifesting  of bold new things. 

Lots to do...



4.11.2016

Killing time.

Saw on the twitter that there are a couple crashes on the I-10 between here and Bisbee.. Which adds stupid lon delays to the already roa construction slowed interstate. I am ready to go to Tucson, but will give a little more time to the clearing of the chaos. 

Stuff to do..
The Mother Unit has a list of things she needs, and I am anxious to see her adjusting to her environment. Bills to attend to and so much more. 

Time to load the car...

4.10.2016

How I learned about religion.

Some folks are brought up in a deeply religious culture in the home and surrounded by the ritual of going to church, volunteering for church related events, and being given certain jargon with which to go out into the world and be a good ____________. Please insert your religious thang in the blank. 

I feel spiritual, identified as an Agnostic for several years of my recovery, and recently affiliate with The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. 

But what you may not have come across, is someone (me.) who got their first real dose of who that Jesus guy was by watching the Andrew Lloyd Weber classic, Jesus Christ Superstar.

 The Mother Unit is quite enamored with it too.. I decided to watch it this morning as I was cooking/cleaning/laundering/avoiding the rest of the paperwork I need to have done by tomorrow. 

I still know every word to every song. It's comforting in a way that things you have done fir a gazillion years often is. Do I beleive this to be a true story now as an adult? Not really. So much of the bible is made up by men who sought power.. But do I have close friends who are deeply religious and well educated for a theological perspective? And do I love to hear them speak truths that dispell all of the hate flying around in so much modern day religion? Hells Yes!!

And do I love that their study of religion in a balanced way has made them a better human being? Absolutely!

And am I the chick who just sees people for who they are and how they treat others without regard for any religious affiliation? Yup. 

And, if you are ever singing along to Jesus Christ Superstar and forget the words.. call me up. I can help you. And I won't judge you or hate you. 

Hell, I might even sing along. 

"If you'd come today, you would have reached the whole nation. Israel in 4 B.C. had no mass communication."

But we do now, don't we...