I'm getting a wee bit of internet on the boat this morning. I usually check.. and there is usually bupkus. Must be the sign of a good day ahead.
Had some laughs last night when a pal from AZ checked in... said she saw a video of the boat flying through the air and had been worried. I had put a vid up of the boat being hauled out a few days ago. Of course I put that up.. how often does the place you are living get to fly thru the air if you aren't Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz?
When the chuckles were done, she did the real check-in part. And asked me to please call when the going gets tough again.. and really reached out to me.
These days I'm a self-centered, fear-based kid I am, all I can see is how I'm not doing enough or doing it right and continually screwing things up. I'm not reaching out too much and I spend a bunch of time alone. I'm starting to pull out of this dark time.. with quieting down and looking at what's going on around me.. looking for the beauty and wonder.
She says that I am loved.
She said it sounds like I'm in the midst of a spiritual crisis.
And she says I am being driven to my knees.
All true.
And what I think that means is just keep letting go, being honest with myself and my small crew of friends, and just keep doing the best I can.
I'm not heavy-hearted today. I'm being honest.
2 comments:
Wendy, it's ok to decide you needed to live there on a boat, and then later to decide, no that's not really what you want to do. Come back to Bisbee when you can, you are very loved here!!! Very loved!!!! and I am sure there would be work to support yourself in this little town that knows how special and hard working you are! Please have no fear, as this is a real possibility, when you are finished with the east coast! Much love to you! Kate
Yes, yes, what Kate says!
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