Let me say this...

I had yet another roller coaster of a day emotionally... no... it's not that time of the month.

I am just moving through some stuff. And it's not the kind of stuff you just breeze through. Not if you want to learn anything from it and not just numb out. I do believe this is one of the great things about recovery as well as one of the challenges. When you choose not to hide and face things head on it's not always easy or graceful.

Today had me in a wee bit of weepy head as I worked on some Bisbee stuff and then I had a conversation that started difficult to a degree but I stayed present and listened. And from that right into emails with the lawyer in Bisbee that brought my weepy head back. I think it's more about seeing it for what it is and not blaming the City of Bisbee or someone on the phone. It's hard to admit after all of these years of recovery how low I went around the wall supporting my house collapsing. You never know what will cause you to fall... or how far down you will go.

Typing out what transpired for me during this bizarro wall crumbling situation was very intense and humbling. And I'm very present with how beautiful and fragile and vibrant and downright fucking weird life can be with all of it's bits flying in my face. I'm still so incredibly grateful to have chosen to seek legal representation and I think my mom is appreciating that as well. She and I are getting back to acting in concert and not letting this house thing wedge us apart like I saw it doing. So much yet to do. But still so much hope and decency and good people gathering to offer up love and support from so many different places.

I just want to keep opening up. Looking for the good joo joo and the flow. And to be one of the cogs in the machinery generating the flow. Is that sarong?

I heard someone say something at an AA mtg today that I really liked... this guy in his 60's said (in reference to not being able to change or take back things in the past)
" You can't un-ring the bell."

He said it was from some Buddhist teachings...

I liked it.

Let's take a brief stroll down memory lane...

Who's Sari Now ????



Yup... I'm still sari...