4.14.2015

The coulda shoulda woulda's..

I am up waaaaaay to early for my day going back to AZ. It's gonna hurt later tonight and tomorrow when I try to adjust to the time difference of 3 hours. It's just gonna have to be this way though. I have a full day and that includes a couple hours of finishing up at my pal Robin's.

My mind is a jumble of thoughts about opportunity, self worth, gratitude, hindsight, expectation, and hope.My call happens today to talk about if I am a viable option for a big tour as an assistant. Money and space avail etc...the anticipation of this call has me thinking about the opportunities I didn't take because I wasn't ready and/or scared. And the one last summer that I thought would be hard but great and ended up being a eye opener about how I do need to respect myself enough to not stay in something that is a poor fit. I also recalled the times people said I was on the short list (not the short bus..) for something and didn't get it. I guess all of this tempers the wait with a gut level honesty that there is no telling how it comes out, but that it will get woven into a fabric of knowing I chose to live life seeking a bold path. It's just me doing it my way.

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