The coffee was great.. (duh!)
The pinball game was fast and furious, but somewhat low scoring.
The sounds of Pema Chodron flowing through the tiny house...
What was I thinking?
You cannot get full of Pema's goodness while hoping to hit that last red target so you can hopefully get to multi-ball on High Speed.
I learned this today.
Nope, So I turned off the pinball and went fully into Pema while I finished my morning ritual of coffee drinking.
Pema is telling me to "Go into my fear..."
As a wanna-be enlightened-ish person, there is a whole bunch of wisdom to dip my toes into. And sometimes I can even sit quietly in some form of meditation. But I truly have no practice. And that's just where it is for now.
My biggest fear has revolved around The Mother Unit. And with her so totally taken care of, my fears have shifted elsewhere. I don't have many in my face immediately, but by allowing myself to hear that facing/turning into my fear is the way to go is in fact very comforting.
Right now my biggest fear is the festival stage managing gig in Nashville next month. I know how to do the job.. I need to show up and do it. It's that simple.
I am reminded about several conversations I have had with various artists I have worked with who got handed record deals, then they got shelved.. They all felt like they were finally getting the big deal and this would make it all better. Each of them said that they never really got that much further (and then the deal deal was dead..) and that they learned to just keep doing the job of writing/touring etc even though they thought they hit the jackpot by getting the deal.
Is this gig the end all be all? Nope. This gig is another awesome thing to put on a resume. I might meet some good folks. And will definitely get to see some good friends.
And that thought process is what happens when you mix pinball and Pema.