Be the love.

These little creatures are the perfect pic for today. 

Definitely symbolizing me and my mom. 

Neither one perfect.. Both ragged around the edges. Patched together, but sweet to look at. Both looking out at the world that is hurling towards them kinda fast at the moment with their big eyes. Ears up to be aware of things to be afaid of. 

Yup.. That's us. The moments to just breathe and assure myself that I am doing this well are rare. But I am just gonna be the love and do the next right thing. 

The Mother Unit is scared and nervous. 

So am I.

 But this train has started rolling and all I need to do is show up and be the love and keep doing the next right thing moment by moment. As emotions fly around, and I violate the cardinal rule of any type of confrontation with her.. I remind myself to be as patient and graceful as possible. We gots some major upheaval over here. Highs and lows that shift on a dime.

Found the perfect place, she gets to give me her thumbs up today if she likes itafter  seeing it.  Now comes all of the financial dealings. Meeting with the insurance company reps who hold her long term care policy and hoping that she gets the coverage she needs so she can be in this smaller facility. This shit is expensive! But how do you out a pricetag on this when wherever you choose.. you know that this is the environment and team of people who are gonna be there for you own Mother Unit as she winds down? 

You don't.. I guess you just hope the policy is what it says it should be. 

She can have her pot cookies, they laugh a fair amount over there, and the staff seem to be the kind of folks I can lean on as the times get more difficult. Once we all get used to this HUGE change, I do think she is gonna totally bounce back to being her much happier and interactive self of a few years ago. I want happy to be in her world. I can't even begin to imagine how scared she is. 

One of these creatures is named Strawberry (smaller) and one Fern. I gave one to a friend last year, and she sewed it a companion. Sweet. 

And outside of all this family stuff.. I am waiting for word from the Mac/Apple folks here in Tucson .. my fucking laptop died. Deep breaths. I do not have 2k for a new one. I have a week off of work to deal with all of this and then I get to juggle real day to day with all of this added stuff. Ulitmately it'll be better for The Mother Unit and less for me to do. 

Send out some love for her. I dunno if she can feel mine through all of this turbulance.